Like it was before

​I wanna look at his face 

and not have all those feelings come rushing back.

I wanna be over him

Be so close to him

 and have no desire for his kisses

I wanna hold him tight

 and not have my heart beat as fast

I wanna watch him pass by

 and not feel the skipping of beats in this heart

I wanna be who I used to be

When I loved him 

no strings attached kind of love.

When his touch aroused no senses

And absence wasn’t so screaming of loneliness 

Me without him was fun- the ‘in thing’

To get to sleep and awake

Knowing he’s not in my thoughts for real

But I still dream

He’s un-eraseable… i just can’t find a way out.

Wonder if it’s really what I want anymore…

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