unloved #29

if

if ever I was

would it make a difference?

if

if ever I did

would it make a difference?

if

if ever I said it

would it make a difference?

I know it wouldn’t

but asking

calms down my nerves

the hope that there could be a change

if only I chose different

the lies I make me believe

to stitch up my tearing heart

stop it from going deeper

but I know

beyond repair it is

just because

it chose loving you over me.